2017: When my son Joe passed away, I knew I wanted to keep a tangible piece of him with me, something that would bring me comfort and help me hold on to the memory of his life.
2019: Later, while going through his clothes, I set aside a few of his shirts to use in a memory quilt. I was still a beginner quilter, having made only one small lap quilt so far—from pre-cut fabrics—so this was a daunting goal. I had no idea how to begin.
March 2020: My best friend’s mom (expert quilter Grace Crocker) invited me to stay with her for a week in northern California for a personal “Quilt Camp”. She helped cut the shirts to prepare them for piecing into blocks. She helped me choose a simple design and got me started with the process. She even suggested we include a copy of one of Joe’s poems and showed me how to print on fabric.
However, when it was time for me to return home, there was still a long way to go. Grace wrote out detailed instructions for me and organized everything neatly, gifting me with a quilt organizer to keep the project together.
Unfortunately, I lacked confidence to finish the job on my own (and I didn’t have a sewing room), so I set the project aside as other activities and obligations took over my days. I thought about the unfinished quilt often, but just didn’t have the moxie to move ahead with it.
2023: I got to know several women new to my church who were starting a prayer quilt ministry. I also began attending a quilting group at my local community center, and with their assistance made a set of quilted placemats and matching napkins for my daughter.
Spring 2024: I made a simple baby quilt for my grandson Ezra, and I asked my new quilter friend Paula Escobell to show me how to stitch a label on the quilt (I took cooking instead of sewing in 7th-grade Home Ec class!). Paula came over one afternoon to help me with the label, and as we chatted, she learned of the Joe memory quilt project. She generously volunteered to help me finish it whenever I was ready to resume working on it.
I was overjoyed! Finally, I could move forward with the project, confident I wouldn’t mess it up.
Summer 2024: Paula and I began a weekly quilting session at her house. She is a patient teacher and helped me with each step. I’m sure she could have finished the project herself in a couple of hours, but we both wanted me to do it, and I work slowly, so it took many weeks! We often stopped to share lunch at her table, and saw our friendship develop over quilting and food.
Just before Christmas, we had finished everything but the binding. Paula showed me how to do that and got me started, and I took the quilt home to finish it on my own.
January 2025: The quilt is finished!
It is more than a collection of squares stitched together; it is a testament to the care and community that surrounded me during one of the hardest seasons of my life. As I sit by the fire wrapped in this quilt, I feel a connection to Joe, and to the women who patiently helped me bring this project to life.
When I felt lost in the details—laying out the blocks, matching seams—or frustrated with my mistakes (I ripped out many seams along the way), both Grace and Paula taught me to step back and look at the design as a whole. The lesson has stayed with me: seeing the big picture gives perspective. And a right perspective is motivating.
I am so grateful for my quilter friends! They are patient and encouraging. I have been a fledgling for much too long, but no one ever complains or seems impatient with me. The quilters at my church and at the community center have cheered me on and helped with my smaller projects along the way.
Most of all, Grace gave me the confidence to begin the memory quilt, Paula gave me the confidence to finish.
He has made everything beautiful in its time... — Ecclesiastes 3:11
Comments